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Monday, August 6th, 2007
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7:15 am
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1. Where is the last place you held hands?
You got me
2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
Probably not..I would be pissed off and get myself shot for smarting off
3. Do you sleep with the TV on?
hell no I have to have almost complete silence to fall asleep unless im exhausted
4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
EWWW i HATE milk
5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Never been in a spelling bee
6. What is your longest fight with one of your friends?
Um probably stephanie...still not friends and dont plan on it
7. Are you a fast typer?
eh so so
8. Are you afraid of the dark?
Sometimes
9. Do you like someone right now?
Nah
10. What ended your last relationship?
what didnt end my last relationship wouldbe the better question.
11. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
A very long time ago
12. Do you knock on wood?
sometimes
13. Are you drinking anything right now?
water
14. Do you think you're smart?
If i apply myself yes
15. Have you ever been in love?
I dont think so
16. Do you miss someone right now?
No not really
17. What do you want for Christmas?
a new car
18. Do you know the muffin man?
why yes i do....
19. Do you talk in your sleep?
on the occasion
20. Do you remember your 1st crush?
elvis!!
21. Have you ever flown a kite?
yes!! lol
22. When was the last time that you went swimming and where?
Lake halbrook(sp?) with aj,sally,and keaton uh like two months ago
23. Do you consider yourself successful?
right now im on my way
24. How many people are on your contact list of your cell phone?
too bad i dont have a cell phone right now
25. Have you ever asked for a horse?
no..
26. Plans for tomorrow?
not really
27. What did you do this past weekend?
went to school, got my certification thing in phelbotomy, hung out with clay
28. Miss being at school right now?
not really im about to crash
29. When's the last time you told someone you loved them?
today maybe
30. Do you want to be single?
not really
31. How are you feeling today?
tired as fuck
32. Who's your hero?
madonna
33. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
nope
34. What are you looking forward to?
the money i will be making
35. If you could be stranded with one person for 24 hours, who would it be?
conan obrien please and thank you
37. Have you ever eaten dog food?
nope but my dad has..
38. Can you handle the truth?
yup, can you
39. Do you like green eggs and ham?
indeed i do
40. What 3 things do you always bring with you to places?.
my car, my camera, my purse
41. Any cool scars?
the one on my left knee from falling its neato
42. Are you missing in action?
nope
44. What's your deepest secret?
it wouldnt be a secret anymore would it
45. How often do you talk on the phone?
everyday
46. Do you believe in love?
i woudl like to
47. Is there something you want that you can't have?
theres always something everyone wants that they cant have
48. Four things about the preferred sex that you first notice?
eyes,hands,hair,smile
49. When was your last time you cried?
a few days ago i guess
50. Who did you last hug?
someone at garydons i guess
51. Do you get along with your family?
yes and no
52. Where is your phone?
somewhere in my room
53. What was the last thing you ate?
uh chocolate
54. Favorite color?
red
55. Last movie you saw?
300
56. What song are you listening to?
pure blissfull silence
57. What do you want?
a new car
58. Favorite car?
ford sport track
59. What T.V. show are you watching?
nothing
60. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
clay
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2:55 am
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I went to Gary'don and Tims last night I had so much fun..I love my gay community.. I like it better then the straight one. and im straight. figures. lol It was jeremys brithday and personally from what he has done to clay i really dont like him but i guess theres nothing i can do about that. i graduated phlebotomy yesterday made a 94 on the exam and now im off to become a rn..god help me 0_0
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| Tuesday, July 24th, 2007
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6:01 am - It's My birthday!!!
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Im offically a year older..
I have to get up around 1 hopefully since my sleeping pattern is fucked up the ass and get ready to go out with Ryan so hecan take me out to eat and what not...it shall be fun.
Brandon said he wouldn't call me for my birthday...
He did.. at midnight such a freaking cutie!!!!!
I have a coldsore.. Im putting abreva on it every 5 minutes.. its going away.=)
Its my party and I'll cry if I want to cry if I want to cry if I want to...You would cry to if it happened to you....
current mood:  cheerful
current music: heart of glass-Blondie
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| Monday, July 23rd, 2007
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3:36 am - COLLEGE
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Well my "vacation" was a bore...
I went to Conroe...(Houston) which is like 4 hours away and that's a long way when you normally dont go anywhere within a 30 mile rang from your home, to visit Cortney.
It was fun but I thought it would be different I had a better time the last time I was there.
I dont know But I DID get attacked by this random chicken out on a gas station off of Interstate 45 I was going to the restroom and it came up to me and started pecking at my pantleg kinda weird.
Went Mudding for the first time in my life it was so fabuously country. (Which I am far from) but it was fun.
the drive back though was gorgeous I felt like I was driving through Forks, washington! =)
College starts thsi friday..im terrified. seriously. phelebotomy...im scared.
AUGUST 7,2007 I will be at Barnes and Noble waiting for the doors to open!!!
current mood:  tired
current music: the almost
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| Tuesday, June 19th, 2007
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9:13 am - Long time no Post
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So I havent been on here in a while so I might as well catch myself up to pace here. I broke up with David its been about three weeks and he still hasnt talked to me. I brought ryan, brandon, and megan to his reasturant and he made a scene with all the people he works with and everything so megan had told the waitress to tell david that its over. so whatever. It bothered me at first but now I know it just wasnt meant to be. I wanted things he didnt want. I actually wanted a relationship I have no idea what he attened on having. He wasnt what i wanted. Im connent with my friends they mean the world to me. I wouldnt be me without them and David doesnt have those type of friends. I mean he usually just screws everyone over so the friends he has he hasnt had them forever like ive had mine so I guess he will never really understand. like janna, ryan, megan, brittni, cortney, sally, keaton, jake, brandon, jennifer, clay.. im probably forgetting someone but who cares just examples. they are my family. and they mean the world to me they would never attentionally hurt me for anything. unless they were being sarcastic. lol.
My grandma said that shewill help me get an apartment as long as I had a job so now all i have to do is get ryan to help me with the applacation and hopefully i will get hired! janna is coming back to east texas soon thank god so she can save money bc thats who i want to live with me more than anybody.
Im sitting here at ryans on his computer waiting for megan to wake up and typing nonsense on this thing. ehhh his mom just left and I have to say i absolutley love her with everything i have. she makes so much sense out of things that i cant make sense out of and she understands what im saying without asking a billion questions. she told me that i didnt need this. that im too young to be having these type of problems and even before that happened she still gave me advice that other people couldnt give me. and im very thankful. even though i feel bad bc a long time ago i told ryan a couple things his mom had said and there was a bit of drama there but in the end i guess it worked out well..
-Sara
current mood:  hungry
current music: speckles talking to me
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| Thursday, June 7th, 2007
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3:32 am - So its true it is all going downhill
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lets see... david isnt talking to me. very confused about this whole situation infact apart me is broken hearted and the other part is fliping him off. Today Jake knew that I was upset so he was sweet enough to take me to his house make me a lovely cup of coffee and we watched chasing amy which is a very good movie btw. we sat and talked then drove around and smoked cigarettes trying to find something to do.
Friday I get my car fixed finally, im so freaking excited! I need to go see Jennifer and of course im going to Sallys I would go to Jannas but shes going to Dallas for as few days. its been awfully hot here for the past few days. I want it to rain again damnit!
Last night I watched the holdiday.. a very good movie. and I always watched v for vendetta and let me tell you how amazing that movie was!!! the best ive seen since the da vinci code. seriously. so much meaning!!!
ive started to listen to saosin alot lately. Shawn has their cd and they are pretty good.
im going to ozzfest buddy fuck yea!
current mood:  aggravated
current music: reading
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| Saturday, June 2nd, 2007
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6:11 am - mosh pit in the walmart parking lot
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Ok...so David stopped by after work very neat I napped from 5 to 11pm I know sad. ugh. We went ot walmart and I saw Keaton up there. Him Josh, and Matt all just got back from a hatevreed concert. He had a video of the mosh pit on his phone...whoa is all i have to say about that mosh pit. well David needed eye drops so we got two just incase for me. I got some stuff that im suppose to put in my hair before i straighten it to stop the burning of my hair and to keep frizz from attacking it..lets see how well this works.
I also got some john freeda shampoo and conditioner for blondes.. eh i dont getit.. how does shampoo amplitfy my blonde hair? unless it has like a bit of hair die in it... odd. but ill give it a try it smells good.
its 6 am and my keyboard is freaking out. I cant sleep i dont want to sleep why do i get anxiety about sleeping am i scared im going to miss something? wow. maybe thats the problem. who knows.
my fucking cat attacked me earlier fukingphsyco cat.
eh im about to smoke and lay in bed untili fall asleep its day light out now
current mood:  it 6am!
current music: mtv after hours
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| Friday, June 1st, 2007
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10:29 am - wake and bake
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First off I can't believe im even awake at 10:34am!!! omg I just woke up to take David to work. Hope he has a lovely time staying awake the whole time. heh... we did better last night usually we have a argument but not last night it was perfect...i layed with him until he fell asleep then i came out here and got onine until i couldnt stay awake any longer and went into my bathroom and smoked a little. but this morning he wakes up and then just cuddles with me very nice.
I smoked just like an hour ago and i can already feel it going away very sad... We might go to Sallys today who knows.
current mood:  loved
current music: my parents talking nonsense
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| Thursday, May 31st, 2007
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10:39 pm - a cigrette rest between her lips ut im staring at her tits its the wrong wat
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ok so i smoked what I had left last night i turned on the shower and i let the room fill up with steam and then i cracked open the window and hung out of it smoking through a crappy pipe that i put together last night. I miss my own pipe what was i thinking when i threw it away? It was barely a bowl but its good shit so i got high and i was so much happier.
David is suppose to come over today around midnight after he works and he is going to bring me some mary jane! woop woop. I hope my parents are fast asleep when he gets here.. of course we are going to have to go somewhere and smoke and hopefully he leaves me a joint or two for a rainy day!!!!!!! yeah right rainy day my ass.. i need a job. not this friday but next hopefully my parents will give me some money so i can by a dime but i know in 3 fridays I wil have 300 dollars and I plan to fix my car.. thats going to cost 252 but my parents will chip in for that..hopefully at least 50. but im going to dragons breath and im going to buy a pipe for 20 and a 20 sack and some insences bc im running out of mine already.. mm nagchampa... mmmm lol
I went to the dollar store and bought me a box where im going to keep all my drug stuff in it and hopefully soon i wil get a lock to go in it.. woop woop. everyone should have one.. im sad i didnt get one earlier. =)(
current mood:  bored
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2:37 am - its all downhill from here
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So ever since I graduated and walked across that stage (yes i actually did graduate) I've felt like its been downhill since then. what do i do now, i have a loan for 40,000 coming my way as soon as i make the call. I dont know, apart of me wants to be just me, get my piercings back that I had to take out for school get the tattoos that I want. but then what happens when I need a job? I know that I can take them out after a while but is it worth it?
I feel like david and i are going down hill too i know he isnt the most affectionate person in the world and I love him I really do but sometimes and he probably doesnt mean to do iton purpose but sometimes i feel like when we hang out with other people he likes them more than me. sometimes i feel likeim just his shoulder piece. But he tells me im stupid for thinking that way and that im the only he loves. but im never satiafied and i should be happy with what i got right because i would miss it when its gone. but is that what we do our whole lifes? just get something you finally want but in the end you end up wanting more anyways? is anyone ever satisfied?
I've been smoking alot lately and im not talking about cigarettes even though i go through about a pack a day now. but my parents found a roach in my room today oh well i guess its not going to stop me Ive been high for the past few days and i havent smoked today i have about a half a bowl in my little mushroom dish and im fiening...
I hung out with stephanie last night it wasnt that bad infact it waslike we were never not friends but i still can see why i dont want to be her friend but hey she had a joint and was willing to pass it. even though she lost her weed for the first hour or so and blamed it on david. lol she made him empty his pockets and she even asked to look through my car because he went to it before she lost it.. he treated her like shit the whole time though.. he made her apologize. but at least i have a hook up now theres no need to go all the way to wills point anymore when its right down the road. =) I need some zantax but its so hard to find. stephanie cousin supposbily just got hundreds of them and is about to start selling so maybe if i get it through stephanie she can really hook me up good. i hope their bars and not footballs though that would def. suck.
My car has a donut on it now.. the wires of my tire where coming through. fucking a.. I have over 500 dollars worth of work to do on my car. this shit pisses me off plus the gas prices arent to cheap either. I need a job. I want to work at hot topic just for the discount but sally said it wasnt worth it. I can just get two jobs and hope there schedule fits perfectly in them.
Over and out
current mood:  anxious
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| Monday, May 21st, 2007
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4:39 am - weed
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so this is how it gos.. there is always a monthly gap where i dont smoke weed and then there is that couple of moonths where i think that its the best thing ever! In a few minutes i will be taking david to my house so we can smoke and then pass out and then i have to set the alarm for about 8 or so so he can go to the judge and take care of his speeding tickets after i just finished the last two hours of his defensive driving thingy.. i dunno he said he has to do this again by tomorrow how knows.
current mood:  im about to get high
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| Sunday, May 20th, 2007
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11:32 pm - eh
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So its the end of my high school years and i dont think im going to walk the stage. a part of me has accepted that fact but the other part of me is like wait what. it really isnt that important jjust a family thing. thats what i keep telling myself. ok. so here i am sitting in davids room typing on livejournal for the first time in god knows how long while hes taking a break from his defense driving course thingy that he is taking online. his computer is in the most uncomfy position ever. the screen is on the floor and teh mouse and keybaord are on the bed. buh. but i guess it works. So I have to take english over the summer through tjc. unless the deny me crdit for my government and english classes then i will be talking both of them through tjc this summer... joy joy joy. i am utterly excited that i dont ever have to again see the people ive grown to hate within the last five years (including jr high) in this lovely town of van texas. woop woop. this week is going to be filled with nothingness. mon i dont have to do anything tuesday im going o probably go up to the school and talk to mr giles the school counselor and talk to him about them giving me credit and finding out my grade for english and knowing if im graduating thursday or in july. or if im walking. he said he will try his best. then i will have to set up tjc classes and everything and prepare myself. I need to go to walmart. I think if it doesnt get too late im going to make david go to walmart with me. late to me is uh 4-5 eh.. whatever
current mood:  i want to go to walmart
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| Thursday, January 18th, 2007
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3:47 pm - aww happy happy joy joy
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I feel like im on my way to getting my life back on track. Im not sure how it got off exactly but it did, friday Im going to stay after school to help mrs wallace with the time keeping for uil for extra credit bc I cannot fail anymore of her classes infact i have to make like a b in them so i better get my reading counts in huh. and then I went to all my classes today whihc was the frist. Im falling for Brandon again which isnt so good. I actually am going to go to my math taks testing class tomorrow. mm what else.. today i had so many flipping unexcused absences I just wne to tms kendrick and she cleared them for me .. and now i onlyhave one and that was the one when I went to the dentist such a lovely lady and no one knows it. I think im on her good list bc i took a few pictures of her kids on the football feild and such. mmm. Im offically not friends with stephanie anymore which is great.
I learned a few weeks ago to tell people no.. and to tell them what I think without feeling like they should hate me. Which I have never been able to do, unless I was in a really bad mood. Im getting almost to the point with myself that I dont have to hide half of me in fear that people would run away. People are strange these days like that huh.
Ryan and I are getting to be better friends.. he told me that a certain someone told him something and I would have never thought that that person would do that but I guess it just goes to show who cares. I dont know. Im scared that im not going to graduate thanks to this taks test. yaye for me huh.
and apparently i have changed alot.. which i dont see.. maybe bc i say no more.. or say what i want an do what i want but who cares. i talked to megan about it and she doesnt see it.. ive talked to shawn about it but he doesnt see it ive talked to ryan about it but he doesnt see it. i dont know. who cares. bc i feel like ive lost the closness i had with that person anyways. now i feel like we are just friends. and yeah it sucks but im not going to beg.. or pleed. i am who i am. and this isnt a im a oh so powerful female post. but anyways.
aaron found out about mark and i.. totally flipped the fuck out, which i dont understand bc Im not mark.. im not his best friend who slept with his crush. and im also not dating aaron so there was no reason in it. I know i blocked him. i guess it was better ending it this way than anyother. and then he asked if i regretted it and i told him no and then he said how could i not regret breaking his heart. im sorry that i did that. but i didnt like him like that and yes i kinda liked mark and i told him that and he was like what about all the time we spent together. which was one movie and the rest of the time we sat online and talked while i was talking to other people. i mean if that was the case megan and i would be married under the common law marriage. ridculous. i could understand him being mad at mark which like ryan said is not any of my fault and aaron is probably just takingit out on me bc mark isnt there to take it out on. and that when aaron told mark that he liked me mark should have been straight foward and otld him even though afterwards we did it again. ryan said a friendship isnt a friendship unless you can tell the person everything and truely not because i like him or anything and i do love all my friends equally but ryan knows more about me than anyone else bc when i am down and talk to ryan he doesnt tell me im being a baby or that i should quite winning. i dont know.. and he knows how much he means to me and i hope i mean the same. and probably 99 percent chance we willnevr get to gether which i would love but it probably wont happen and im not stupid i know this but i like him in my life. and we talked about religion and he gave me a meaning and no this doesnt mean that im going to go to church every sunday and wed. it means that maybe i have found my religion.. and im not going to get mad when someone disses it im not going to be that way. but i like who i have grown in to bc i know when i have kids i am going to want them to know about jesus and all that jazz but im not going to know how to teach them so i am probably going to put them in sunday school and when they get older if they want to continue to go to church then i will take them but in the end its going to be their diceison. but i guess ive said enough.. this is whats been on my mind. i dont know..
-Sara
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| Thursday, December 28th, 2006
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10:33 pm
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| Forbidden but Awesome Survey (No normal questions, trust!) | | A Few Questions to Throw Around | | If you could get away with it completely, would you murder someone?: | Yes. infact I would and I would make it like a hostile murder =) | | When was the last time you had sex... and enjoyed it?: | two weeks ago.. and not really | | Who pissed you off really bad recently?: | Stephanie Blotz | | Do you know what veal is?: | Yes..its baby cow | | Was your last ex good in bed?: | Never did anything with my ex | | Have you ever flashed a TV camera on a live show?: | Nope | | What's something dumb you've done alone that you never told anyone about?: | ...uh if I have never told anyone why would I say it now? | | Do you like the movie theater?: | Not really unless I really really really want to see the movie | | Is squash really good or horribly gross?: | really good | | Who was the BEST kisser you've ever kissed with? (BE HONEST!): | I dunno | | Would you kiss them right now in the present?: | " " | | Who had the worst kiss you've ever experienced?: | Lets see ive kissed about two people in my life.. one was freshman year and i guess he was better then mark..he was more gentle | | Rough and passionate or sweet and romantic?: | a mixture of both | | Do you wish on shooting stars?: | Yes..they never come true though | | Have you ever built a snow fort larger than 6 feet?: | Nope I live in Texas | | What's your favorite thing to do while waiting for someone to call/arrive?: | smoke a cigarette | | Have you ever microwaved a CD?: | Nope..wtf | | Would you have sex with any of your friends right now?: | Yes | | What is more important... looks or personality?: | Personality.. but they cant be ugly.. | | Can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue?: | Yes! I did that in south padre | | Do you have a stuffed animal to sleep with at night?: | When I was little | | Ever piss your pants over the age of 13?: | Nope | | Have any phobias?: | yup | | Can you take off belts/pants... with your mouth?: | Nope..wtf | | Are you able to multitask?: | yes but im not good at it | | FIRST REACTION! (ONE word only) | | Blood:: | tampon | | Marshmallow:: | smores | | Tape:: | messureer | | Money:: | gas | | Desire:: | ryan =) | | Lust:: | ryan | | Envy:: | ryan | | Murder:: | stephanie | | Cookie:: | monster | | Last time you had sex:: | two weeks ago | | Horror flick:: | ah | | Tropical:: | condom | | Slam Pig:: | wtf | | Lost in the city:: | new york | | Lollipops:: | seducing | | Gift shopping:: | yaye | | Cannibalism:: | .... | | Love:: | RYan | | Demons:: | angel | | Best friend crying:: | aw | | Revenge on the one you hate:: | stephanie | | Garbage:: | gross | | Book:: | go ask alice | | One-night-stand:: | mark | | Green:: | eyes | | Blue:: | sky | | Black:: | coal | | Red:: | blood | | Life:: | sucks | Take this survey | Find more surveys
Bzoink - The Original Survey Site |
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3:15 am - all by myself
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Im sitting here .. at my house drinking a beer by myself bc lately I cant handle "parties" they are lame.. probably bc I go with Jennifer and shes knows a whole bunch of people that I don't know and i feel weird.. mmm I like parties where i actually know some people. I am currently on a diet.. see how well this works out. friday I am suppose to go hang out with Aaron.. please jesus christ if mark comes over just shoot me with lightening and kill me. But I dunno. I dont want to hurt aaron.. mmm I havent talked to tristan in 3 days! since his cell doesnt work anymore and there is no way in hell im calling his house phone..
I went to a party tonight.. it was lame.. like i said. and I wanted to leave in hopes that I would get home before tristan put his away message up so he could go watch adult swim. But Janna didnt want to leave so i stayed a little longer and then I ended up leaving her there because she wanted to stay with her sister. SOOOO I get home.. while talking to aaron on the phone the whole way home driving on 110. and now shes texting me that her sister left her and that shes going to tough it out and stay there to teach her sister a lesson but she said that if she got into trouble will i come get her. I dont have the heart to say no but god motherfucking damnit that pisses me the fuck off. I dunno. She better not text me at like 6am to come get her. Id be massivly pissed off.
Im about to get winey and girly so just dont read if you dont want to her some self pity going on.
Im tired of being so fucking alone. I know I talk to Tristan but im fuck scared that he doesnt/wont like me in that way once I see him.
And I dont want to settle for less then what I want.. even though you know you cant always get what you want. But damnit. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Why cant I just be love someone and them love me back?
the end.
current mood:  crappy
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| Tuesday, December 26th, 2006
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5:26 am - Hellogoodbye
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I like,
Where we are,
When we drive,
In your car.
I like,
Where we are,
Here.
Cause our lips,
Can touch.
And our cheeks,
Can brush.
Our lips can touch,
Here.
Where you are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now there's no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your arms.
I like,
Where you sleep,
When you sleep,
Next to me.
I like,
Where you sleep,
Here.
Our lips,
Can touch.
And our cheeks,
Can brush.
Cause our lips can touch,
Here.
Where you are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now there's no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your arms.
Our lips can touch.
Our lips can touch,
Here.
You are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now there's no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your...
You are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite, miss you quite..."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now theres no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your arms.
Here, here, here, here in your arms.
Oh, here in your... arms.
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5:18 am - Christmas
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mmm christmas was boring.. as usual I always know what im about to get since my parents just let me go shopping for myself.. which in the end is better. Scott my dad's older son whom lives in new jersey bought me this book and its huge but its like pictures of historical moments and stuff I like it alot. theres this one picture that was abosolutly amazing and it had like a starving african girl on it and she was like two years old and she was balled up on the dirt and there was a bulture right behind her staring her down. it was very sad... Aaron wants me to go watch a movie with him sometime this week. I'm scared that im going to hurt him again.
I think im falling for someone again which is just bad news..I hate falling for someone.. it always ends up horrible.
mmm maybe just maybe this time will be different.. doubtfully..but maybe.
I was laying in bed earlier, i was reading "go ask alice" which shawn bought me for christmas so far its a pretty good book. but i looked at myself and i was thinking why the fuck would anyone want this? pretty people are so lucky. I hate them.
ps stephanie begged ryan to kiss her.. im going to kill her..
current mood:  gloomy
current music: Rugrats in the backround
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| Sunday, December 24th, 2006
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8:06 pm - boredddddddddddddddd
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Im so tired, Probably because ive had only five hours of sleep. I really want to go take a nap but shawn is suppose to be calling me so i can go get him from clints and all that jazz. and then Im going to snuggle up in my bed and sleep... I really want for tristan to get online.............. god...........i went to ryans last night.. i love that boy with everything i have. the truth.
My parents fillled my car up and got me a carton of cigarettes.. ahhh sukie sukie.
And Shawn got me a book called "Go Ask Alice" and a panic at the disco shirt.. mmmm...
and i got 500 for clothes..
interesting.
im done .
current mood: tired
current music: a christmas movie playing in the living room
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| Friday, December 22nd, 2006
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4:40 am - Its been awhile
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Wow I haven't been on this thing in forever.. mm. well alot has happened. I lost my virginity.. friday.. to a boy that im just friends with, which i got bitched out by ryan about.. mm And then i relized that no matter who comes into my life i will always feel the same about ryan. ryan could take a sledge hammer to my face and i would still feel the same. maybe. Janna and I have been together for like a month straight now. I thought that today iwas going to go a day without seeing her but nonetheless she called and i went over there. her sister jennifer has hung out with us for the past couple of times also. Ive hit the jackpot.. not really but it feels like it.. a cell phone, a new house, a new car. I got a shit load of new clothes.. alot of cds. tonight janna and jennifer and i went to walmart at 2am and we all got a few cds.. I got the new prince cd.. and another prince cd wiht all his songs remixed. and billy idols greatest hits and the new dresden dolls cd. mmmmmmmmhmmm the next time im there i need to get the ray charles cd i was going to get it tonight but i decided not to. and i also need as i lay dieing and matchbook romance bc tristan said they were good. i was going to get some shoes but i will do that tomorrow maybe if janna wants to go with me. I need to find the winning streadgies applacation and fill it out so janna and i can go turn it in. mmmm.. or janna and i will be working somewhere else. my grandma has been on mycase alot latley. I just cant stand being at home during the day.. it drives me insane. and its not because im bored because i go over jannas and be bored there. Stephanie went over to ryans house last night and i go whoa jealous so i picked up janna jennifer and kayla and went over there. i cant have him but theres no way in hell shes getting him. i swear to god and buddha that i would beat her fucking face right in her braces. I avent been in the mood to drink which is rare bc if theres alcohol norammly around me i would drink the fuck out of it but not here latley. I need ronald to throw andother party so i can get piss drunk without worring about going home. or i need to find me another driver. Janna and i need to start saving money for the apartment. TRistan moves up her in a few weeks.. and i dont want to meet him.. im scared. I love ryan. I hate being alone. im scared that im not going to graduate. infact im terrified that im not going to graduate. im not in journalism anymore. I miss buttercup. and right now all that sounds good is a cigarette (which are out in my car) and a bottle of red wine. mmm.. Im lonely.
current mood:  lonely
current music: the humming of the heaters
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| Thursday, November 30th, 2006
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8:09 pm
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Me and my car are bff's. lol
I want the following naked in my room right now: Ryan, Brandon, Mark, Tristan.
I want some.
Im going to Tyler in the morning for a college thing with Janna and I will be leaving my house around 9 I think I have to get the 15 dollars from my grandma to put in gas =) bc I went to Edgewood today when I wasn't suppose to I skipped classes AGAIN.. its just so damn easy I guess. Lol.. mmmm I think Im going to do the dirty in the back of my new car.. its pretty exciting. Its going to be cramped though.
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
current mood:  horny
current music: Grind On Me - Pretty Ricky
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